Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Fizz: Deconstructing Constructive Criticism


So I don't know about you but I have a hard time taking and accepting constructive criticism, I mean maybe it's because I can be kind of a "know it all" and hate to admit when I'm wrong.  I do really want to try to get better at accepting criticism though because even "know it alls" like me can't literally know and do everything perfectly (although we can come close ;))

So the other day one of my good friends texted me out of the blue with a critique on a blog post I had done and my first reaction was to get upset.  Obviously, my feelings were slightly hurt but once I took a step back and thought about it, I realized my friend was probably right and she ended up giving me some pretty great insight.  We also had a discussion at work the other day that talked about how much further you can go in your career if you have a manager who gives you honest feedback. Feedback is really a gift,  no matter who it comes from, even though the closer you are to the person the more it can hurt.  

The fact is, is that I can be told 100 compliments but if I receive one critique then that's what I focus on, it pretty much rules everything else out (well I mean I doubt you would forget 100 compliments, like that's kind of a lot).  It's so much harder to give criticism though, I knowI would rather dole out the compliments than give a critique  (okay, some of my friends can attest that this isn't EXACTLY the case but I do speak my mind when asked my opinion).  

The harder things in life are the ones you grow from and if someone is always telling me how great I am then I probably won't change what I'm doing.  But ti someone happens to provide criticism, ideally in a constructive way, then I can take a step back to see if what I'm doing is the right or whether I agree with them or not.

As Aristotle once said "to avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing" - I would like to be something.



image via

25 comments:

  1. Perfect post ! And the photo is amazing !

    xx

    www.sweet-freckles.com

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  2. girl, i have been dealing with this and it sucks. but mine is more straight-up negativeness. why they gotta be so dang mean??

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  3. I like honest feedback is helpful , but have to be communicated in a polite manner. Great post doll.
    http://tifi11.blogspot.com

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  4. Great advice!! I guess if you think about it the person only wants to help (unless they're being nasty). Butt that still doesn't mean it's easy to take! ;)

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com

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  5. I can totally relate to this and feel the same way about criticism! I think there is a part of us that knows not everyone is going to love everything we put out in the world via our blog, work, life, etc...but we always hope they do!! But hey - that's how we grow and learn and become the best versions of ourselves!! Love this post!

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  6. You make a really good point! I have a habit of getting upset when I get criticism because I'm a perfectionist and to me it feels like failure but you're right, if all you get is compliments and no one points out any changes that can be made you can't grow (either in your career or personally)!

    <3, Pamela
    sequinsandseabreezes.blogspot.com

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  7. Love this! I've become very emotionally attached (and protective!) over my blog, too! Great advice.

    Simply Cydney

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  8. So true, I always focus on the critiques as being bad instead of just listening to them and seeing if they are actually right.
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

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  9. Love this post! I am the same way - I want to always be right, but criticism helps me grow once I accept it!

    Maggie
    www.PolishedClosets.com

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  10. It is hard to take criticism, I mean it's never fun. But it does help you become stronger and better at what you do etc. in the end!

    xxx
    Lady à la Mode

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  11. lovely post!

    
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    "Remember whenever you see Beauty...SHARE IT!"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hey girl! I nominated you for the Liebster Award! Info is in this blog post; hope you accept! Great blog post too!
    http://www.thelifescout.com/2014/04/liebster-award/

    http://www.thelifescout.com/

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  13. I do the same thing. Don't feel bad. I don't think anyone likes to be told when they're doing something wrong. HAHAHA I think it's the way people say things. Some people can be ugly about it. Your friend did it the nice way. So good for her and for you. It really helps.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  14. I remember when I started blogging and didn't seem to take constructive criticism the right way, but then I learned it was for the best. Once I started applying those advices, my blog became a little better! Not everyone will have the same opinion on things, but constructive criticism has helped me. I find myself once in a while taking a step back and realizing they are trying to help out. Great post, thanks for opening up.

    -Vogue&Heels
    www.vogueandheels.com

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  15. This was definitely a post I needed to read... I'm SO bad at taking criticism!! I'm a such a perfectionist that I get totally upset at myself for making a mistake. Amazing picture too :)

    Jessie at BlushandBlonde.com

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  16. Criticism is great for improving oneself. Too much criticism is bad, so it needs to be at a healthy level. I say 1 criticism for every 5 compliments. The compliments should always outweigh the criticisms. I also have a hard time taking feedback sometimes, but then I need to breathe and realize that the person is helping me.
    Bright and Shiny

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  17. I love how you ended this piece with the quote from Aristotle. So on point. It's hard to hear certain things about ourselves but once we get through the initial emotions and let it marinate, it's always an opportunity to learn and grow. Beautifully written Abby!

    www.taffetaandtulips.com

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  18. This is a very good post on taking on feedback. The way you described yourself, it's like you were describing me (and probably most aspiring women out there). I think it gets easier with time and, as you suggested, taking a step back to understand why you/we get so sensitive when we receive criticism. I think part of it is the word "criticism". The word itself has a negative connotation. At work we talk about feedback and development opportunities. Sounds cheesy but if we position the comments in that way, I think it helps. Also I think we have to remember, it's not like we have paved this road before, our mistakes helps us get better in the future. Great post and thought provoking topic. Thanks! xo-Elaine

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  19. I love this post. Sometimes it's nice to just pause and be brought back to the basics of life. :) Thank you for this! <3 Emily

    http://theskinnybyemily.blogspot.com

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  20. Really loved what you write. And I should admit that sometimes (almost every time) it's truly hard to separate the constructive critics from the just mean critics, and that's probably one of the reasons that it's hard for us to accept any of those.

    <3
    http://zazzish.blogspot.pt/

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  21. I'm the same way!! I completely relate to harping on criticism waaayyyy longer than I should-- including criticism from myself (the kind I get/give pretty much 24/7). I agree with what you said about having a supervisor who gives good feedback helping you to improve much faster than someone who's incessantly dishing out compliments. Thanks for the inspiring post!!

    http://thecoralcameo.blogspot.com/

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